My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
One of the dreams on my wish list is to spend more time in Thailand. Kevin Kwan
One of the dreams on my wish list is to spend more time in Thailand.
All my friends are getting married. I guess I’m just at that age where people give up. Amy Schumer
All my friends are getting married. I guess I’m just at that age where people give up.
I'm so happy because today I found my friends - they're in my head. Kurt Cobain
I'm so happy because today I found my friends - they're in my head.
I don't even listen to rap. My apartment is too nice to listen to rap in. Kanye West
I don't even listen to rap. My apartment is too nice to listen to rap in.
I think, team first. It allows me to succeed, it allows my team to succeed. LeBron James
I think, team first. It allows me to succeed, it allows my team to succeed.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
I'm not confident in my own ability to resist the titanic force of my own ego. Garth Risk Hallberg
I'm not confident in my own ability to resist the titanic force of my own ego.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
I haven't understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it. Igor Stravinsky
I haven't understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it.
My main goal is to be a self-made man and have control over what's mine. Kevin Hart
My main goal is to be a self-made man and have control over what's mine.
I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own. H. G. Wells
I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.
