I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.

Larry David

I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.

Larry David

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Larry David

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

Larry David

My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.

Larry David

Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of licence and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn't normally.

Larry David

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.

Larry David

I'm trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk.

Larry David

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

Larry David

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Larry David

I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure.

Larry David

I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.

Larry David