I'm a walking, talking enigma.

Larry David

A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied.

Larry David

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

Larry David

I need to be on drugs to connect with nature.

Larry David

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Larry David

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.

Larry David

I'm trying to elevate small-talk to medium talk.

Larry David

I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure.

Larry David

People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue.

Larry David

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

Larry David

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

Larry David

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Larry David