Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.

Jim Gaffigan

I was still rooting for Notre Dame.It's like there's the cultural Catholic experience.

Jim Gaffigan

Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.

Jim Gaffigan

I’m convinced that anyone who doesn’t like Mexican food is a psychopath.

Jim Gaffigan

I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.

Jim Gaffigan

Cousins are like celebrities for little kids.

Jim Gaffigan

I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.

Jim Gaffigan

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

Jim Gaffigan

I love sleep. I need sleep. We all do, of course. There are those people that don't need sleep. I think they're called 'successful.

Jim Gaffigan

I used to have a lot of faith in humanity before the advent of the website "comment" section.

Jim Gaffigan

I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing

Jim Gaffigan

Now there are adults without children who go to Disney, and they are called weirdos. Very nice people. Absolutely crazy.

Jim Gaffigan