Humor Quotes

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
Steven Wright

War does not decide who is right but who is left.
George Bernard Shaw

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
Charles Dickens

Humor is reason gone mad.
Groucho Marx

I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
Mark Twain

They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
Bob Monkhouse

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.
Anthony Jeselnik

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Robin Williams

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
Albert Einstein

And I loved Fats Waller. I love his instrumental abilities, his vocal abilities and his sense of humor.
Paul McCartney

So many books, so little time. ― Frank Zappa

I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two.
W. C. Fields