A. A. Milne Humor
Erma Bombeck Life, Humor
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce. Mark Twain
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. Oscar Wilde
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying. Charlie Chaplin
I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.
If you ask me a question I don't know, I'm not going to answer. Yogi Berra
If you ask me a question I don't know, I'm not going to answer.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Steven Wright
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. Robert A. Heinlein
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Nobody works better under pressure. They just work faster.” Brian Tracy
Nobody works better under pressure. They just work faster.”
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against. W. C. Fields
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. Groucho Marx
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value. Amy Schumer
I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
