It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. Bill Hicks
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. Steven Wright
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
she kissed him, would he taste like blood or cloves or a mixture of the two? Cassandra Clare
she kissed him, would he taste like blood or cloves or a mixture of the two?
I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. Mark Twain
I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now. Bob Monkhouse
They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
Humor is reason gone mad. Groucho Marx
Humor is reason gone mad.
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? Robin Williams
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny. Anthony Jeselnik
I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.
We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking. Rick Riordan
We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.
So many books, so little time. ― Frank Zappa
I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two. W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two.
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer. Bob Monkhouse
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
