I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. Steven Wright
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. Bill Hicks
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
Humor is reason gone mad. Groucho Marx
Humor is reason gone mad.
I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. Mark Twain
I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now. Bob Monkhouse
They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny. Anthony Jeselnik
I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? Robin Williams
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
she kissed him, would he taste like blood or cloves or a mixture of the two? Cassandra Clare
she kissed him, would he taste like blood or cloves or a mixture of the two?
We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking. Rick Riordan
We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.
So many books, so little time. ― Frank Zappa
I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two. W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two.
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer. Bob Monkhouse
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
