Funny Quotes

I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand.

Leonardo DiCaprio

If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay.

Tom Hanks

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

Jerry Seinfeld

“It's a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.”

Roald Dahl

Kyle: Dude, it's a lаdу gеtting рооеd on! Stаn: Whоа! Iѕ it Cаrtmаn'ѕ mom? Cаrtmаn: Oh, very funnу! Kуlе: Hеу! It IS Cartman's mоm! Mrs. Cаrtmаn: All rightу thеn!

You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.”

Warren Buffett

If your going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.

James Patterson

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...

Isaac Asimov

The funny thing about mundies is how obsessed with magic they are for a bunch of people who don't even know what the word means.

Cassandra Clare