Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.

Jeremy Clarkson

I started to realise that being impolite saves an awful lot of time and costs you nothing.

Jeremy Clarkson

A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.

Jeremy Clarkson

I think people who watch 'Top Gear' think they're the only ones watching it, which I quite like, because it can hopefully last for a long time.

Jeremy Clarkson

If you go through the pearly gates backwards in a fireball, that's a cool way to die!

Jeremy Clarkson

We are going to have to stop penalising people for making that most human of gestures- mistake

Jeremy Clarkson

We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.

Jeremy Clarkson

Column writing is like gas - it fills the available space.

Jeremy Clarkson

Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.

Jeremy Clarkson

I like to be loved by my children, and I quite like the Guardian hating me.

Jeremy Clarkson

Like many men, I can never find anything that I'm looking for, even when I'm actually looking at it. In a fridge, I think milk is actually invisible to the male eye. And so, it turns out, are dirty great holes in the fence.

Jeremy Clarkson

I'm not only in touch with my feminine side, I'm in touch with my gay side as well.

Jeremy Clarkson